BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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