My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize