Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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