perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
