The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
