Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
