I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
