so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
