but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
