feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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