So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
