the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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