Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
