I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
