Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
