He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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