i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
