Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
