Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
