i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
