Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
