Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
