areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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