Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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