i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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