Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
