dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
