it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize