a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
