You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
