hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
