The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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