WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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