Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
