I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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