i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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