lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
