You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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