This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
