1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
