Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
