My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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