so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
