its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
