how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize