Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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