wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
