I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
