remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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