And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
