and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
