you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
