I love black thongs
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
