sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im part way to drunk.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
