Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We need to rekindle our bromance
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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