Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize