i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
